So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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