i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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