its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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