Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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