yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
