my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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