Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
