he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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