Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
