Too much gin, very little bucket
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
