I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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