Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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