I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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