He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
