i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
