I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
