why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
