Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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