I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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