either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
