no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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