Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
