As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
should my penis look like a turkey
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
