Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
