Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
