The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
