Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
