So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
