i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize