she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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