i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
