I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
