from now on my penis is your penis
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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