Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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