What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
