She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just pee around me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
