I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
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