Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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