Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
