I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
