If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
