I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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