Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
