and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
