We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
