If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
