Four minutes until I can fart!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
