the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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