I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
