What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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