hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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