I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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