this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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