STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
