don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
