You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
