I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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