so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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