I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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