He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
