She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
time to smoke my breakfast
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
