I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
