tonight lets celebrate not being married
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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