sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I understand Curling. That high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
