I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What a dumb baby whore.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
