There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
