Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
