So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
