i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
