I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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