can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
