My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
