he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize