11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
