whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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